Monday, September 23, 2013

This is What I Do All Day - The 5 Stages of Grief For My Fallen Laundry

Sometimes people wonder what stay-at-home moms do all day.  If any well-meaning person asks you this, just have them over after one day of not doing any chores at all.  Then you can point and say, "THIS is what happens when I don't do what I do."

Some of what I cleaned up today, courtesy of Claire:  She unloaded the entire bottom half of her armoire and brought it into our dining room by our sliding door. She was busily putting it in piles and taking it in and out of various boxes.  This included all of her dress up clothes and coats, as well as 5 binders and assorted school books.  I let her, because she looked like she was pretending to pack for a vacation or something, and she was clearly having fun.  It quickly escalated though. She next added diapers and wipe packages to the pile. Then she brought random toys, my broom, the iron, a bacon magnet, a shoe, a beer bottle opener and other assorted, must-have items.  At this point, the mess was getting out of hand, so I asked her to start picking things up.  She pretended to oblige while I went into the office.  When I came back out, she had unloaded all 4-5 loads of the folded laundry (that I had stayed up until midnight folding the night before) as well as all of socks from the sock baskets, onto her pile.  After I successfully found my way through the five stages of grief for my fallen laundry (see footnote), she was found in the bathroom liberating the floss from the tight roll that someone had so thoughtlessly wound it in to.

*The Five Stages of Grief, Laundry Application:

1. Denial- "Oh heck no! She did NOT just do this. My beautiful laundry! This is not happening right now. "

2. Anger- "She is going to be in soooo much trouble.  She has no idea! I stayed up so late to get this done and she knows better.  I'll make Daddy deal with her.  Thaaaaat's right. DADDY."

3. Bargaining- "If only I could have found the time to put it away before she got to it.  Maybe if I leave the room with my anguish on display, someone else will feel bad for me and it will all be taken care of."

4.  Depression - "It's still here.  It seems to be getting worse.  This will never get done.  It'll spread all over the house in giant, breeding piles.  We'll all get stuck under the piles and suffocate.  Like, DIE."

5.  Acceptance - "Fine.  Fine.  FIIIIIIINE! I'll stay up late and do it again and we probably won't die."  Insert resigned sigh.

Don't leave this post thinking that Claire's the only one who makes messes.  I also found a sock in the chandelier that she is way to short to reach and one of Micah's chess pieces in the yeast.  That's all for now.
I clearly have some things I have to go clean...